Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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