Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so explain again why im purple
no
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
