I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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