maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
