I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
