he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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