you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
