Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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