I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
