I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
a search helicopter?!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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