My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
