I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
