If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize