Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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