There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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