hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
