One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Pappa wants mamma naked
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
