Jerry, you need to find god
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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