cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
is wine microwaveable?
i dont even know how to be here
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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