Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
