This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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