hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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