dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i think i have herpe
just one?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
