Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
