i just wanna soil my oats bro
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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