yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
