how do flat chested girls get laid?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
