shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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