So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
