You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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