i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
