end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
