got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
