If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
