whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I smell stomach acid.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
