I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize