But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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