i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
