just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
