sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we made out on top of his cat.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
