Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
