I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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