Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
