used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
