Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
