ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
