I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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