when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
