come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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