Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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