I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
