So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
