I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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