I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Moan for me like Helen Keller
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
