official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
