Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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