Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
