I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
