I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
