Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
