Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize